I FINALLY came up with a new column

More than likely, the only one to notice that I’ve lately failed to fill this space is me.

But on the off-chance you have too, my absence has been on purpose.

I sent Journal Editor Dave Emke an email back in November asking if it would be okay if I took a break until after the new year.

I told him I was having trouble finding time to write, which was true, as far it goes. But I left out another, perhaps more important detail – I had also gotten lazy. Even our big dog Rodney’s silly antics failed to rouse me enough to sit up straight in my chair and start typing.

If Dave read between the lines, he didn’t say so. He replied the way you expect polite people to reply –  he wished me a cheery “Happy Holidays,” said that would be fine and that he’d be looking forward to hearing from me in January.

In other words, he readily agreed.

Too readily, if you ask me.

I would have preferred him to feign at least mild panic. I mean, he could have lied a little and told me that my reader would likely shrug before turning the page and moving on to more pressing news.

But he didn’t.

And now, here it is January 2016. I’ve had more than two months since I submitted anything to the paper and I’d still rather waste time checking my Twitter feed than seek inspiration.

If only something really nerdy would present itself. Something like say, the new “Star Wars” movie.

That would do the trick because then I could tell you about when my mother took my kid brother and me to see the original and how:

(a) the line to get into the theater stretched down the street for blocks.

(b) the theater was so packed Mom had to find a seat in the back while we sat closer to the front.

(c) I told my kid brother to “go find Mom” just before the exciting climax because he’d gotten sick on too much popcorn, and

(d)  I heartlessly couldn’t stop talking about the Death Star being blown up while he was trying not to hurl in the backseat of Mom’s VW bug on our way home.

If I told you all that, then I’d have to fast-forward to when a good friend and I bought tickets for “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” more than a month before the movie actually opened.

I’d also have to fess up to being so distracted about seeing the movie the day it finally hit theaters that I didn’t notice I left the garage doors down until after I bumped into them with the car.

Then I would have to admit that my careful planning for the premier went awry. Despite arriving at the theater an hour early, the kids and I were out of luck (my sensible wife sensibly stayed home).

My movie buddy from October got there even earlier. But he wasn’t able to save enough seats for us all to sit together. The theater was just too crowded.

Luckily, my friend’s kid was able to save my son a decent seat. My daughter and I, however, ended up in the front row. At least we had plenty of legroom.

I won’t go into any specifics about the movie in case you’re one of the few who hasn’t seen it yet.

And let’s face it, I don’t need to. You could fill up the galaxy with what’s already been written about it.

Besides, my holiday break is over. I’ve got to save the really nerdy stuff for inspiration in 2016.


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