At the risk of sounding like a tedious old bore who can’t stop talking about his aches and pains, I feel like I should revisit them, anyway – mostly because I’ve been making such a big deal about all the medical tests I’ve had to endure.
In any case, I have to find a new audience for my complaints. My colleagues at work are starting to give each other that “there he goes again” look every time I get wound up.
I started confiding in them to give my family a break. My wife has been giving me that same look when I seek sympathy, and I think our kids have started finding excuses to leave the room when I broach the subject.
I’ve been so desperate to find somebody to listen to me whine that I tried confiding in our cats.
They ignored me.
I probably should have expected that. Cats are nothing if not haughty.
Our dog Rodney has been a good sport. But he IS a dog. And dogs are easily bribed.
When he looks at me as if to say “please stop whining” when we are out for a walk, I throw him a bacon-flavored treat and go on complaining about the pain I’ve been having on the right side of my rib cage.
Tasty dog treats only go so far, though. When we arrive back at the house, he stops begging for the next morsel entirely and starts straining on the leash, presumably to get away.
I tell myself he just wants to get back to annoying our cats. But the truth is, he’s probably had enough of me.
Basically, it comes down to this – it seems that I can no longer rely on youth to maintain the good health I’ve always taken for granted. The tests that were performed this month indicate that I have a slightly overweight liver.
In hindsight, I guess that shouldn’t be surprising. It seems my liver is just taking cues from the rest of the overweight me.
I’ve yet to get specifics from my doctor on what to do about it. That comes next week. But if the internet is to be believed, I’m not going to be streaming old “Star Trek” shows on Netflix quite as often.
A Google search suggests that I get off my rump rather than spend leisurely afternoons exploring strange, new worlds while the kids are in school and my wife is at work.
In fact, I’ve already started. The walks I take with Rodney are more frequent and brisker. I’ve also joined the stair-walking club at work.
I’m also trying to watch what I eat more carefully, which should please my wife. She’s been after me for years to take better care of myself.
But if she thinks I’m going to stop whining, she’s got another thing coming – especially if my doctor bans “Star Trek” from my daily routine.