I never win anything

The Powerball Lottery is resetting itself for this weekend’s drawing. Saturday night’s prize is starting over at an estimated $40 million after someone bought a ticket in California that won Wednesday’s massive $425 million jackpot, the sixth largest in U-S history.

As yet, no one knows who’s holding the winning ticket.

However, we do know it was the only one sold and that it was purchased at a gas station in the San Jose suburb of Milpitas. It was the second winning ticket sold in the San Francisco Bay Area in as many months.

We also know something else (drumroll please):

I. DON’T. HAVE. IT.

Just in case you need proof, here’s the lottery ticket I bought Wednesday afternoon.lottery

As you can see, I bought three sets of numbers.

Three chances to win.

Three chances to claim a share of a life-changing amount of money.

All three chances are now on the dustheap where I throw the rest of my dashed dreams.

I don’t normally play the lottery. It’s not even something I generally pay attention to. At least, not until media types (like me) start oohing and awwing when the jackpot reaches the stratosphere.

Besides, I can think of plenty of better things to do with my money than plunking it down on a set of numbers that only has a one in 175 million chance of panning out. If I want to be frustrated, I can always go to the DMV.

But I bought into the lottery this time.

I was among those lured by the sheer size of Wednesday’s jackpot. It happened at the convenience store where I buy my favorite raspberry iced tea. I stopped there the afternoon before the numbers were drawn.

As I took my place in line to check out, the cashiers seemed to be selling more lottery tickets than soft drinks and beer, so I made an offhand comment about how big the jackpot was getting. After I declined to buy a ticket, the cashier chuckled and hit me with the familiar slogan, “You can’t win if you don’t play.”

The lottery ought to hire that girl.

I got all the way out to my car before reconsidering. I was back in the store moments later, unable to resist the thought of at least sharing a $425 million jackpot, let alone claiming it as the sole winner.

And with that, I joined the overwhelming majority of lottery players who are doomed to disappointment.

I doubt I’ll make the same mistake for Saturday’s drawing. After all, it’s only for a measly $40 million.

Wait.

Did they say $40 MILLION?

I’m starting to get thirsty for some raspberry tea.

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I never win anything

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